Study, Study, AH!

"though it makes no sense to me"


Observations from lack of sleep (sheep):

I cut my hand on a dumpster today -- and I think my arm is going to fall off. Possibly.

There's a plant on the dresser next to me and I totally just thought I saw it move.

Britney G. just texted me, "old people burning... old people burning" So I texted back "Put yo' hands up!". Oh my.

Seriously, my arm feels like it's gonna falllll offfffffffff.

I just named the wall I'm leaning on Pete. Because he just looks like a Pete.

I really need to go pee -- but I'm trying to weigh my options here.

I am looking at a picture, drawn on a sticky note, of an octopus eating a shark.

Pete is uncomfortable.

Music! makes the people --- come together! Yeahhhh.

I really want fries. If someone were to ask me, "do you want fries with that?", I would answer, "You betchya!"

My teeth taste like Mountain Dew.

Arm... falling... off.

I wish this floor was a trampoline, then maybe I would actually study -- or something.

Sheep are not people, despite popular belief.

Plato hates art. Or hated art -- he's dead.

ARMS!

The End

life...

So, I'm all stressed from school and finals and stuff so I'm using this as a way to get stuff off my chest -- yep.

I just learned that my aunt will probably die in the next couple of weeks. Sandi was my uncle Jim's wife. Jim died about 6 years ago in a car accident, it was a though thing to go through. Well, Sandi and Jim had a daughter Elli a year before he died. Sandi re-married about two years ago and had another daughter and soon after was diagnosed with breast cancer. Well, Sandi's not responding to any of her medication anymore and is just getting rapidly worse. I'm especially worried for Elli who is almost 7 and will soon no longer have any of her parents. Sandi's new husband Steve is a great guy and will continue to be a wonderful father to Elli -- it is just such a sad situation.

I'm just having trouble dealing with all of this with Mr. Muntz dying last month, my grandparents being so sick and now Sandi.


Isaiah 40:28-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and even young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This is it

Blah.

So school is almost over and I am almost out of here for good. I can't say that I'm not excited -- I will miss some of the people here, but I think that's about it.

I still have a lot of work to do before I'm done -- but I am procrastinating right now-- so we'll see how far that'll get me.

So, life is pretty crazy. This semester has been enlightening I would say. All my professors were very challenging, but a good type of challenging.

I'm going to Oklahoma in 5 days to see Anna and Arielle! I'm really excited about that, because I miss them a lot. I do have to fly by myself though, so that will kind of suck, but it will be more than worth it.

Back to the life has been pretty crazy thing. So, my grandpa Lawrence is at a hospice place right now. It is likely that this June will be the last time I see him. It sucks, but he has been mental gone for a few years now, so -- I guess that makes this time easier -- if times like this could ever be easier.

Also, my grandma Cantley has had 2 strokes in the past year. I'm pretty close to my grandma so it's weird seeing her decline so quickly mentally and physically. She has always been very aware and healthy, but it looks like that time is over.

I'm glad my grandma Cantley and grandpa Lawrence are both Christians though. They have eternal life to look forward to.

Also, my parents are in the process of buying a house finally! They have been living in the upstairs of my aunts house to help her financially and stuff. But now they're moving out. The new house even has a pool and a hot tub. God has really blessed our family through this move to CA.

I'm still living in Ypsi with my bro when I'm not living here at school. Our apartment is infested with ants right now though -- so hopefully the ground keeper people can take care of that soon -- because that's just gross. It'll be fun to move all my stuff into my room for good though :].

I will be visiting my parents for 2 1/2 weeks in June through July. It's our Lawrence family reunion too so that should be fun. Jason's coming again this year as well! He really is an unofficial part of the family (hopefully he can be official sometime soon **cross fingers** haha).

Our 5 year anniversary is in June -- so we'll be celebrating it in CA. I'm glad once school is over I'll actually get to see him. I am also super excited to go to school with him next year, since in all our years of dating we have never gone to the same school.

Hmm. Well, I wish I had something profound and interesting to say -- oh well. I'm gonna get back to work now.

The way things are

"It's just enough to be strong in the broken places"

So, my spring break was super awesome/difficult. It was probably more stressful than school has been so far this semester. I had to figure out all my transfer stuff and I got thrown for a couple loops. Also, David Kim stayed at the apartment most of break. It was actually really fun. I just did a lot of awesome stuff and hung out with a lot of awesome people (and didn't get any homework done).

The part that sucks though is the way my break is ending. Last night around 12am Mr. Muntz died. Mr. Muntz is Alan, my brother-in-law's dad. He's been fighting cancer for years and we knew he wasn't going to last much longer, but this is kind of soon. Our familys were close and it just sucks a lot. I know he's in heaven, which is awesome. He's partying it up with Jesus right now -- but my heart still hurts. I still miss him and I can't imagine what Alan, his brothers and mom are feeling right now. I guess if you read this, please pray for the family. Thanks.

Now time to go back to school.

What is that you're looking at?

"But I won't go faster if you want to"


So today was a pretty good day. Chapel was good, work was eh -- it was ok, class was good. I had an awesome time at dinner with David, Dayman, Britney and Bethany. We talked about the "old days" and such. On a side note, I'm so glad David is my friend. He's like my brother -- and it's awesome.

Anyway, after dinner I went for a run. It was super cold -- but I'm happy I went -- sort of. I love running but I forget how much it hurts. Right now I feel like my joints are breaking apart -- maybe it's not that brutal, but I'm still in a good amount of pain. Like, I'm used to pain -- I'm in pain pretty much 24/7 -- it just hurts especially much right now. Yeah... that was a pointless explanation.

Anyway, so this is weird. So, Bethany and I were talking about spiritual warfare and stuff on Thursday -- Which is something that really confuses me. Well, it just happened there was this showing of a movie called "Furious Love" tonight, and it dealt with just that issue. It gave me a lot to think about. When Bethany gets back tonight all the roommates are supposed to talk about it for roommate bible study -- well Bethany, Britney and I.

On that note I'm really glad we're finally starting a roommate Bible study. Hopefully we can find a time when we're all in the room. But I really needed sometime to stop and just talk to people about Jesus. Yep. I don't feel like typing anymore.

I'll wipe those tears from your tired eyes

"Could you be for awhile, I can't remember it"


Two days in a row? what is this nonsense? Basically, I don't want to write a paper.

So tonight some people from Core Quince got together and it was awesome. I really love them. Also, Simeon told me that one of the top 10 awesome moments he has had was at Cedar Bend with David and me. That got me thinking about what happened. I'm not gonna get into it because it would take too long to explain (maybe some other time)-- but it was one of those God moments. You know, those times where it is clear and certain that what just happened was %100 God speaking to you. I guess it just reminded me of how much God loves me. He has really taken care of me for the last year and a half. I have no idea how I would have made it this far without him. That night at Cedar Bend I was ready to give up, but God used people around me to keep me going. I love Jesus so much.

Anyway, I should really write that paper.

The world is not burning

"On the brink of this destruction, on the eve of bittersweet"



Woah!

So, I just have to point out really quick that I am trying to be positive. Here's the thing, 5 years ago tomorrow my uncle died in a car accident. Now, my uncle and I were tight. He was very much my second father. It hurts a lot that he's gone. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes thinking of how much I miss him and wish he was still here. Well, obviously this week is hard for me. It's not only the anniversary of my uncle's death but it's a day that people celebrate. When I see hearts and cupids and pink and red it reminds me of the worst day of my entire life. It's just difficult, but I'm trying not to let it show. I just want to be me -- because I know that's all he would want me to be.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to end this on a happy note. Uhmm. Oh. I love my boyfriend. My brother and Jason came to the arbor thursday and it was sooo much fun. They are my favorite and I love them both. It's nice having my boyfriend and brother be best friends. Also, Jason is pretty much the most awesome person alive. At least in my world. Anyway, I think that was happier.